Pal-e-i-e-i-o

**This post was written in January**

So I’ve started eating paleo, a.k.a. the caveman diet (for a challenge with my crossfit gym – do it all month, like Whole 30). I think I actually wrote about that once before (I write on here so little, it’s hard to keep track… *slap on wrist, shrug, sigh*). Pictures for delicious recipes I think were promised…

More like deconstructed meatloaf...

More like deconstructed meatloaf… The sweet potato-beef thing

Pumpkin pancakes with mango applesauce. No syrup? You make due

Pumpkin pancakes with mango applesauce. No syrup? You make due

I like to try to be artsy with ingredients...

I like to try to be artsy with ingredients…

And this past week I made way more. It’s rather difficult to eat paleo when you don’t take the time to prepare your own food. Let’s face it, this world is not fit for healthy, natural eating. Weird when you think about it, which I try not to, that this paleo business is actually how humans used to eat, before the introduction and glorification of on-the-go heart attack sacks, chocolate-covered bacon or donuts as burger buns (not to mention the simple adoption of agriculture, rapid crop development and hormone implementation). Don’t tell me Wisconsin is alone in this eat-now-die-way-quicker endeavor?

Anywho, this week we actually spent an entire night dedicated to cooking (and eating at the counter while doing so) so we wouldn’t have to scrounge at our service industry jobs (family/employee meal of pasta with butter sauce, fries, rice, breaded chicken… the list goes on. I appreciate a free meal, but not at the expense of winning this contest). We made coconut shrimp, chicken soup, turkey meatloaf, mini quiches (crustless muffin-looking creations). The night before we tried indulging our sweet teeth the paleo way by making brownies and apple cinnamon muffins (no pics of these 😦 sorry).

Again, ingredients are fascinating, aren't they?

Oh, hello Slap Chop, didn’t realize you’d be making it to dinner. Thanks for all your help

I’m going to be honest, I’m not great with adding media into posts… so sorry that this sucks.

I didn't actually cook them together, cook the pineapple, take it out, then shrimp

I didn’t actually cook them together. Cook the pineapple, take it out, then the shrimp

For the shrimp, we bought raw with the shells on, pealed and de-pooped them, dipped them in beaten eggs, then a coconut flour – coconut flake mixture. “Frying” them in coconut oil, make sure the pan is hot enough or they will not be crisp, they will be sort of mushy, but still tasty. Importance of texture rests in your own mouth. Before we cooked the shrimp, though, we sauteed onion, garlic and pineapple, which we spooned over the shrimp. Holy shit. It was good.

Tastes like chicken noodle. Mind blown

Tastes like chicken noodle. Mind blown

I also made a super simple soup, literally just sauteed garlic, onion and diced up carrot, poured a box (four cups, I think) of chicken stock and two cups water in to boil, then threw in torn-up rotisserie chicken, sliced shitake mushrooms, chopped celery and spinach (fresh, uncut). Seasoned with garlic salt and pepper. Boom.

There's even a little cherry tomato surprise in the middle

There’s even a little cherry tomato surprise in the middle

Mini quiches were even easier. I beat five eggs (I think… all that really matters is enough egg to fill however many you want to make), threw in spinach and mushrooms, mixed it, and poured it into a greased (Pam’ed) muffin pan. You can literally put whatever you want in them.

Look at that moisture!

Look at that moisture!

The coup de gras really was the (subbed turkey) meatloaf and BBQ sauce. Brad followed the recipe to-the-“t,” which I never do, and it turned out wonderful (p.s. anyone interested in or already doing paleo, this site is amazeballs – so much so I used that douchey term to describe its excellence). I wouldn’t have bothered to cook the bacon, dice it up and throw it in with the meat mixture, but he did, and I’m glad. I might not have put bacon slices on top, but those pork strips added/secured so much moisture it was like eating dulche de leche (moist milk cake), but with meat. I was wary of all the spices in the sauce, cinnamon, allspice (and we didn’t use apple butter or cloves, and had tomato sauce instead of paste), but it was actually really fantastic.

As for the muffins and brownies, the latter were revolting. My 11-year-old nephew said he no longer trusts to eat anything I will ever make again. They were raunch. Perhaps it was the straight cocoa powder, no sugar combo… The muffins were f*king good. You genuinely don’t need any added sweetener with the almond flour and apples. So good, not to mention the texture of regular muffins, so these were winners all around.

Even though this whole paleo enterprise is time-consuming, I’m thinking those cave people were onto something. Ever seen a chubby statue of a neanderthal? Those mofos were tight. Sexy prehistoric bod, here I come…

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About aekuopus

Let's try to nutshell this... I am a daughter (duh), a sister, an aunt (fun) and a friend. I enjoy spending time with all the people who make the aforementioned relationships possible, among other things. I pretend to know how to cook, drive and spell, and I seem to get along just fine. I have five cats, two dogs, two birds and a hamster, ranging in ages from 18-about a year (I am not a collector, perse, so much as an animal aficionado). I'm not a big fan of loss, or losing, but I am a big fan of the Packers, the Brewers, and basically anything that represents Wisconsin. I love cheese.
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